Currently at the Lydia Center, I am teaching “Recovering From the Losses of Life” by H. Norman Wright. It is with joy and sadness that I watch our clients struggle to identify the losses in their lives. Whether it is death, divorce, illness or abuse, all are serious losses that can lead to unhealthy patterns of thinking or living. 

Recently, I had the privilege of enjoying a sacred moment with a “Sally”. I call it a sacred moment because this was a moment when God’s love shined through in all of its glory. For the first time in her life, Sally shared the name of her abusers. Up until this point, she had been unwilling to face the reality that her brothers had abused her sexually.  She felt like if she didn’t talk about, it wasn’t true. 

Once Sally did talk about it, the floodgates of grief and sorrow opened, and she was able to see the truth. This allowed God to begin the healing process. It also allowed more grief to come into her life as she identified the secondary losses, such as loss of innocence, loss of trust, loss of joy and loss of relationship. Beyond that, Sally had to admit that her family had not provided a safe place for her when she was young. 

This is one of the reasons we, as people, prefer to live in a land of denial, for who wants to admit that the image we have held on to regarding our families is a mirage? Who wants to admit that the love that was offered was not really love? Not me. Yet, this is where God can do his work. As we open our hands and lay our grief and sorrow before God, He can begin the healing process and show himself to us as the perfect Father and the ultimate Healer.

Sally has come to realize and believe that the abuse was not her fault and that the things she believed about herself are not true. She is beginning to understand that as a child of the Most High King, she is a princess. Her head is held a little higher and her moods don’t swing as wildly as before. More importantly, Sally is able to look at other losses in her life with new perspective, giving her the courage to trust other shameful areas of her life to God.

Isaiah 54:4 says, "You will forget the shame of your youth," (NIV).

By Donna Doutrich, Ministry Assistant, Lydia Center

The Lydia Center is one of the few 6-month recovery programs for women on the East Coast. For a virtual tour and other details, visit www.LydiaCenter.org. We welcome referrals.